Rolling with the punches??

I suppose this blog was supposed to take off with a little bit more fervor than dying off in a matter of a month. But i have a post that seems somewhat meaningful to me in more than just a personal blog post kind of way.

Being 23 and already hitting a quarterlife crisis is the scariest thing ever.

I had a panic attack last week after driving home from the pharmacy and thinking if this is what the rest of my life is going to be worked out to be. That I would work somewhere where my services, though useful, are not useful at all. My parents have told me to be more useful when working at the pharmacy but i knew that there was something missing when all the patients were speaking korean or spanish - neither of which i speak comfortably enough in medical terms to help them. So what did i do? I did logistical stuff in the back. Counting, stock, deliveries, phone calls to other retailers, and a little bit of entertaining. I was the radio girl, the clean up girl, and the owner's daughter. It felt essentially like being at home.. but all day... and all day you get nagged.

But this isn't what i wanted.

I hit my crisis on the drive home because i felt like a machine. Something that goes to a job, does it with lifeless motivation, and no real drive - merely to help my parents because they asked me to. I had to be done with this somehow... and somewhere along the line hearing about other people moving forward in the directions that they wanted to was all that could keep me jealous and strive for more. I am 23. still a young 20s something but nevertheless the best years of my life had just passed and people are supposed to be miserable from here on out? I refuse to let that statement get the best of me. I am 23 and I was unhappy with where i was. At a time where my only responsibility is taking out the trash and making sure my dogs are fed, I can take risks, move places, and shake mountains.

So I get a new job.

And how do my parents react? With no support at all. But this one.. i know that it's not an opportunity i can let up merely because my parents are unhappy with me. I know i would be kicking myself if i let this one go and every morning wonder as i get ready for work the "what ifs." But I'm ready to lose, fail or be successful before allowing the what ifs to butt in this time.

Let's go.